The monster has been released

 I am still trying to adjust to Deborah Soule's release from prison.  I apologize for my lack of words as this has been a difficult time for me and my family.  Deborah Soule was released into Queens NY.  I wanted to share a podcast that my sisters Patty and Michele did.  I want to thank them for doing what I could not do and thank the "Mourning the Murdered podcast" for caring about Nicholas and helping his voice be heard. 

Nick's Podcast

The monster is being released

 I was contacted a week before Christmas that instead of having her parole hearing in September 2021,  Deborah Soule (maiden name Deborah Barbas) was receiving a new parole hearing ASAP.  I found out she is now being released at the beginning of March.  I will update with more information soon.  

I am so Grateful for all of you!

Deborah Soule's parole was denied!  Her next parole hearing date is September 2021.  I am sorry it has taken so long to update everyone, but I took a step back to take a deep breathe and relax for a little bit.  I was so afraid she was going to be released this time and as much as I try for it to not, it really does affect my everyday life.  For months I have worried (and that is putting it mildly).  I would try to imagine how life would be if she was released from prison and I can not get past the fact that it would just be so wrong if she was free.  No amount of time in prison could ever be enough to make up for what she did to Nick.  Her being in prison is the only solace I have. But I wanted to thank all of you for caring about Nick, and helping me and my family as we go through this time after time.  I have read every signature and every comment on the petition, and I am deeply grateful for each and every one of you. 

January 2019 means another year of facing possible parole.

Yesterday was 24 years since Nick was murdered by Deborah Soule.  That is 8779 days since I have been able to see or hold my son.  When I write that now, it seems like such a long time.  But in my mind it will always feel like yesterday.  No amount of time can take away what she did to Nicholas.  He was a person, his life mattered.  What she made him endure is unimaginable.  It breaks me to think of  what she did to him, how scared he must have been and he endured it alone. Deborah goes out of her way to not talk about what she did.  As does her family.  They  try to hide it and that sickens me. I have been in touch with people who have been close to her, some have even been in prison with her.  They all say the same thing, she never has even mentioned Nick's name.  Nick would be 26 now.  So many what if's.  So many could of's.  I have no hope of ever watching him get married.  I have no hope of holding his children. I never got to watch him grow up into a man.   I like to think he would be a husband and father now.  I try to imagine what he would look like, but all I will ever have is a dream.   I read through all of the parole transcripts yesterday, and you know what Deborah Soule has?  She has hope of getting out.  Getting out to be with her daughters and to be able to hold her grandchildren.   She portrays herself as someone who just snapped one day and that simply isn't true.  She abused Nick for months.  She is the worse kind of evil, she preys on the weak and the innocent.  The ones who can't fight back.  Well this Momma can and will fight back.  EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.  I will not "move on" and  I will not "get over it".  Not Ever.  Deborah Soule goes up for parole again later this year.  Please help me be Nick's voice and sign the petition against her release.  Here is the link for the petition 2019 Petition  A letter to the Parole Board will also help greatly.  Here is the link to the Parole Board for letters Letter to Parole Board  Please use her DIN # 96G0391.  Thank you all for your kindness and support.  Together we can be Nick's voice and stand up against this monster.

If you want to read his story you can click on Blog Archive and then click on 2013, Nick's story starts there. 

Parole was denied!

Last week I received the news that Deborah Soule's parole was denied.  She will go before the parole board again in September of 2019.  Thank you all for standing with me to be Nick's voice!  This time around was harder, not just for me, but my whole family.  The wait was awful.  But I am willing to continue to do this, if it means that monster stays behind bars where she belongs.  It is nothing compared to what she made my son endure. Deborah Soule truly has no remorse.  These last several months have been eye opening for me. I have found support in some unexpected places, and for that I am truly grateful.  There is no final "closure" to be had here.  The pain she has caused in so many lives is immeasurable.  Many people have reached out to me.  Even some who have been incarcerated with Debbie over the years.  They all have said the same thing to me.  That Deborah Soule could care less about what she did to Nick.  She continues to lie and manipulate and tries to act like she has done nothing wrong, like Nick never existed. But he did, and she beat him to death in a fit of jealousy after abusing him for months then sat by and let him suffer for hours.  My family and I will NEVER let him or what she did be forgotten.  EVER.

Thank you all so much for your signatures and letters of support.  Together, we are Nick's voice! 

Such an outpouring of love and support!

When I was young, all I wanted to be when I grew up was a mom.  It took me a long time to even be able to share that with people, because these days we are all supposed to reach for the stars and aspire to be doctors or lawyers.  But me, all I wanted was a family and to be happy.  I was so excited when I learned we were pregnant for Nick, we were young, but we were going to make it.  I never dreamed any of this would happen to my son.  NEVER.  There is such a fine line I have to try and walk, between my past and present.  I stumble and fall, but you all help me get back up again.  You all help make it that much more bearable.  I can not thank you all enough for signing and sharing our petition.  Many of you have reached out to me with such love and kindness.  I really believe it is important to try and find the light, no matter how dark things may seem, well this is my light.  To see that there are so many good people out there, that care for my Nicholas.  We now have over 7,000 signatures, over 7,000 people have
banded together to be Nick's voice, and for that I am truly grateful.

Below is the slide show my sister Faith made for the Parole Board.

Slide Show for the Parole Board   

We are Nick's voice!!

22 years ago, through no choice of my own, I was given a life sentence.  Deborah Soule beat my two year old son Nicholas Miller while he slept.  Hours later, he would die from his injuries.  Denied of his chance to grow and live his life.  Still today, through no choice of my own, I am faced with having to convince a twelve person panel that my son's life was worth having the monster who beat him to death remain in prison.  Every two years I have to face this....and that is if I am lucky.  I have to relive it over and over again for the rest my life.  There is no comfort in that.  It is a broken record set on repeat, over and over again.  I know life isn't fair, but this is cruel.  Where was my right to watch my son grow?  Where was his right to life?  Why do the rights of murderers seem to come first?  To some of you, Nicholas is just a story, but to me, he was my son.  I carried him inside of me for 9 months, I gave birth to him, I fed him, changed him, played with him, I ADORED that boy. Nick was so full of love, always there with a hug and a smile.  He was just starting to talk well and his personality was really starting to shine, but Deborah Soule snuffed that all out.

All I ask is for you to take just a minute and ask yourself how would you feel if you were handed the same fate and faced the same future?  Your innocent child senselessly and brutally beaten while they slept, left to suffer and simply allowed to die.  To this day, she denies responsibility for her actions.  She is full of nothing but manipulation, lies and deceit.

Please take a moment to sign our petition to keep Deborah Soule in prison.  It would also be a great help if  you could write a letter to the NYS parole Board requesting that she be denied parole.  Just click on this link, it only takes a minute of your time. http://www.doccs.ny.gov/letters.html 

Together we can be Nick's voice! 

Please Sign our petition. 

 https://www.change.org/p/deny-parole-for-child-murderer-deborah-soule-din-96g0391?recruiter=17281535&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=copylink&utm_campaign=share_petition